Monday, September 3, 2012

Admitting defeat

Today we went to Home Depot to finally buy the paint for the bathroom, get some light bulbs, a floor vent for the kitchen, grass seed and dirt.  It wasn't a large shopping list, and everything was fine until Ashford started to have an epic meltdown in the paint section.  Our simple shopping trip turned into a how-fast-can-we-do-this race to get him back home.  He has been showing signs of teething for a few weeks now (he's 3 months on Wednesday), drooling, chewing on our fingers/his hand/blankets, eating differently, the whole nine yards.  A soft bib around our finger in his mouth seems to be the best way to keep him quiet calm him.  So that is what I did.    
When we went to the outside area so Shaun could fetch the dirt, I stood next to the cart with my finger in my baby's mouth and looked into the store.  I was kind of shocked to realize I was not happy to be there.  I mean, a trip to Home Depot used to be like going to an ice cream shop for me, full of possibilities and exciting.  Yep, I get excited for ice cream.  But today, my wet finger and I were sad.  Sad and defeated because I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to use the materials we were buying, and I would probably never do any significant house projects again (except when Meryl and Chris come, of course!).  I said out loud to myself 'I don't want to work on the house anymore.'  This was the look I got:
(Dramatization - these pics were taken in the car when we hightailed it home)
I don't know why I'm surprised.  I knew after we had a baby that my drive to renovate and decorate would die down, or simply die.  I knew my blog would go downhill, as far as "DIY or Die Trying" was concerned.  I know there is a very strict rule that you are not to 'turn into a mommy blog' but I'm not really seeing any way around this.  If I just blogged about our house, I would not be posting...you know, like the last two weeks!  I'm not really interested in discontinuing the blog as I've quite enjoyed writing it and sharing my life.  People's lives change, and mine certainly has.  
(Yep, still crying)    
To summarize, the realization that I might never be a 'daily read' for some people again inspired my little pity party in the Home Depot garden center.  I'm not sure how often I will post, or what it will be about.  I like to think that since my blog is purely for fun and not monetized, I get some leeway to post about whatever seems interesting.  It makes me happy that when you come here, there won't be talking ads (ps - I hate those.  I may close a blog if they start up) or any ads, for that matter.  I have done a couple sponsored posts, but I get lots of offers and refuse almost all of them.  I just want my site to be about me, my family, my house, my life, whatever is going on.  Except recipes, please don't ever expect those!  
Thanks for reading, and if there is a question you would like me to answer or topic you'd like me to write about, please let me know.  Lord knows I need the suggestions.

57 comments:

Pine Tree Home said...

You make me laugh not matter what, so I'll still be checking in. And who can resist those cute baby cheeks, whether he'c crying or smiling.

Anonymous said...

I will always read no matter what you blog about!

Just Beachy said...

you'll remain one of my feeds on google reader , I love to hear about baby. I rarely did house projects when my kids were little and never when I had a baby under 1. I am really starting to hate all the blogs with ads taking a front seat and I despise give aways and sponsored posts , I get loads of requests but that is not why I ever blogged, I do have one adsesne ad that barely brings in anything to brag about I blog for fun and sharing.

Anonymous said...

If it makes you feel any better, i thought my love for diy and decorating was gone too when i had my daughter...it wasnt until the last month or so that the nesting bug started to itch again and my little one is almost nine months...so if you take solace in the diy like i do, dont fret because itll all come back...maybe not quite as voraciously, but itll come!! And ill keep reading anyway - mommy blogs are just as fabulous! :)

Anonymous said...

Ohhh...and try the hylands teething tablets - they worked miracles on my LO!!

April said...

I think it is natural to get to that point when you have a newborn. Your interests change, and it's hard for them not to. I lost my renovating mojo for some time after having my daughter, but it is slowly coming back.

Hang in there honey, and in the mean time, keep posting about your little man, he is so cute!

xoxo

April

Steph~ said...

As with any major life change, what was once so important isn't quite the same. But if you were truly passionate about something it will come back once the transition from that life change has worked itself out. Right now all you care about is your baby and that is the way it should be. You will love your DIYs again, in time.
In the meantime we will read about your man!
:)

Pat & Kristin said...

love your blog and will keep reading even if it's only about motherhood. I just had my second baby and my creativity ebbs and flows with the age of the kiddos. Just wait until he's old enough for the car carts at home depot. It'll make that place fun again!

Carolyn said...

I personally love seeing how blogs evolve. We can't stay interested in the same old stuff forever. Styles change, times change, people change and interests change. I can't wait to see what you come up with in the future. I bet it's going to be some really good recipes :)

Sharon@Sharon at Home said...

Sara ... your life has had a monumental change. Obviously your priorities have also changed.

I have enjoyed your story re-doing your home, getting married and Ashton is just that next chapter in your story.

Look forward to hearing about all your changes .... Just post what is relavent to you.

Thanks .... Sharon

PS ... I know what you mean I used to feel bad if I didn't post regularly, but it was never going to be my job. I just post whenever I have something I want to share now ... and don't feel pressured.

Bryn said...

My son is 3 months as of Sept 1st and I think we have hit teething time too. We have the same carseat. One thing that has helped to keep meltdowns to a minimum is that we took the infant insert out... now he doesn't get as hot and doesn't seem to get worked up as easily... or I just have to carry him around in my ring sling with my fingers shoved in his mouth or a binky!! Good luck! As for the blog, I obviously will read cause I have a son the same age!!

tearinguphouses said...

i love you, sara!

Nikki said...

Don't feel defeated. You have a great blog. Some readers will come and go as content changes, but I bet most will stick around. It happens. Life and priorities change. I'd be happy to read about the new man and how life is different.

Megan said...

I have a feeling the bug will come back when he hits one...or there about. Has both time with my kiddos. In order for a blog to be good it has to be something you are enthusiastic about. If that is teething and chubby cheeks, write on.

Sherry said...

I don't read your blog solely because of the DIY spin. I read it because you have a great style / personality that shines through! I enjoyed reading about your wedding and enjoy hearing about the baby. Honestly I skip the blogs that have no personality, no matter how "professional DIY" the topics are. Keep writing about whatever is going on in your world. I, for one, will keep reading! (PS: The first few months with a new baby are always rough. Hang in there!)

E @ Oh! Apostrophe said...

I was once a DIY blogger...now I figure I'm just blogging about a different type of project, that technically we DIYed ;) welcome

Anonymous said...

I love your blog! Keep blogging because I will still be reading! I have a one year old and am trying to now slooowllyyy update a 1942 house. I had no drive after she arrived but it has slowly returned and I try to take advantage of nap time and after she is down for the night. Oh, and grandma's! Grandma's make great baby sitters so you can work on your projects!
Don't get discouraged, your main priority is your son! I'm reminded of the poem:

Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.



Unknown said...

Hi Sara, I've been reading your blog for over a year now and loving your passion for home projects and whatever other topics you have blogged about as I was looking for inspiration for my own home (Melbourne, Australia). I was very excited when you announced your pregnancy as I was only a bit ahead of you and could very much relate to your stories (my daughter was born on 9 May). Really, it's all stage of life stuff, and from what I can see, your readers are happy to share the journey with you. I know I am!

Krispy said...

Hi Sara

I've been reading your blog for years (also from Australia, same as the last commenter)... I'm not really sure how this is only the first or second time I've commented!

I love your blog and look forward to your posts, I'll defninitely keep reading... life changes, it happens... as many others have said, you will get your reno mojo back (I think my boy was about 18 months when that happened).

Having a baby is hard work and there's no reason to put extra pressure on yourself - I think most will follow along because you're a warm, funny writer and its wonderful to be able to share your adventures, whatever they may be.

Krispy :)

Joyce said...

I will keep reading, and your little man is just gorgeous.

Im sure the desire to decorate will come back ( everything came back when my youngest was 7 lol- then I got pregnant again)

Deb said...

Don't care what you write about - just keep writing!! Newborns are tough, it'll get easier - I promise...

Emily @ Our Waldo Bungie said...

Awwww.... I know the feeling. Although not a baby, when I was in the last semester of grad school, I could not do enough projects to fill up the blog with home or dog related stuff. Some school stuff snuck in there too. Luckily, Ashford is a lot cuter than a textbook, so I think you'll be just fine.

Approach whatever you decide to blog about with your sarcastic and sassy personality and people will keep reading! :)

Robbyn said...

It's not admitting defeat to realize that your life and priorities have changed.
Your real life posts are some of my favorites and you'll still remain a daily read for me.

And I am so, so grateful to not see a sponsored post here every day. Everyone's gotta make a buck, but it's so tacky to see "this post sponsored by..." day after day after day on the same blogs. I lose all respect completely when they start doing pointless projects just for the sponsor.

Barb said...

Your blog is my favorite although wish it were more often. But you are fun, funny, and you keep it real. Keep up what you are doing and just take it day by day. You are doing the most important job ever...being a MOM.. Let us see more of that, the small changes you make in the house and we will be happy. Your personality makes any post you do sound hilarious!!!

Don't be so hard on yourself. Being a Mom and working another job...overwhelming!!! Breathe...you are doing a great job.

And did I mention your little guy is so adorable...ahem, I mean handsome!

B.

Life in Rehab said...

Okay, first things first: go pick up some Hyland's Teething Tablets. They're a homeopathic remedy that melts on contact with adorable pink baby tongues and turnss the screaming possessed mess in the stroller back into your snugly baby-come-true is seconds. I used them on all three Minions, and they may owe their lives to Hyland's.

Second, a weird thing happens after you give birth: you become a mother. I had a painting project that I started when I was 8 months pregnant with Savannah and finished 6 years later. Your child will never remember that there was a door off a cabinet. He will remember the first time he sees lions at the zoo. Your projects are going to change. None of us out here are going to be the least bit surprised.

Rebecca @ the lil house that could said...

I could not relate to a post any more than I did with this one. I am dyiiiing to find the time to do some projects, but right now my priority is getting the little time I have with my son after work. I'm hoping that in a few more weeks things settle. Try not to be too hard on yourself, at least that's what I'm telling myself :)

Anonymous said...

I'll miss the DIY and decorating posts for sure. They are always fun and helpful! I understand life changes for folks. I personally read blogs and blog myself for a "getaway" from "real life." It's my outlet! But we understand that real life takes priority. Best wishes!

Chelsea said...

I feel ya! My blog (and me) has definitely gone through the same thing... Which is why there's mostly just crickets chirping on there for the moment. Our little guy is nearly 10 months now (how did that happen?!) and we've been slowly easing back into some DIY stuff. Granted, not bug things like demo-ing the kitchen or bathroom, but even the littlest things make the biggest difference! :) Just keep blogging about what you want to blog about - whether it's a cute baby grin or, in time, a new paint swatch. I'll still be reading!

Oh, and it does get a bit easier - I remember 3-4 months being pretty rough with the teething and him being grumpy all the time, but things got lots better after 5 months - and its easier when they can entertain themselves a bit, too! :)

-Chelsea

Chelsea said...

*Big, not bug...haha

Bunny @ 86n It said...

I will always be interested in what is going on in your life, not just with your house!

(and I mean that in the least stalker-ish way possible.)

meryl rose said...

Write whatever you want, whenever you want, and however you want to do it. I read because I think you're wonderful :) (and those fellas are too)

Mrs. Limestone said...

Seriously you should not feel stressed about not being a mommy blog. The blog is you so now you are a mommy, there are plenty of people who want to hear about it.

Kate said...

It's your blog, do what you want ;)

Kim said...

Obviously I relate to your blog much more now, since our kiddos are days apart - so I will definitely still be reading, no matter what you post about! Plus I love seeing adorable baby pictures!!

Cheryl said...

You're just working on a different sort of DIY project now!

I'm not doing any remodeling, very little decorating and definitely no babies - but I still enjoy reading about them. As others have said - it is the personality of the writer that keeps us coming back.

So work on that most important job - being a mommy - and share what you want, when you want. We all love & enjoy YOU - whatever you're doing.

Elisa @ What the Vita said...

The DIY bug will come back soon enough, I promise... meanwhile, just keep on posting, we'll keep on reading :) and love the facebook status, LOL, maybe you could just put up your fb statuses... I wanna be your FB friend ;-)

Anonymous said...

I want to read more about your "baby MUST HAVES"!! I'm sure you have some great products you use! And especially those for breastfeeding :) :) Love your blog!!

Kim @ NewlyWoodwards said...

Girl, that's not defeat. That's life. And I'd be thrilled if you'd post all about being a mommy. Although I'm quite biased. I have had a few comments of people who hate that my blog is turning into a
'mommy blog.'. But it's my blog and I don't really care. It's for me. It's about my life. And right now my life is wonderful and fun and mostly about Henry. Also - he's close to teething??? That's insane. I know nothing about babes and I have one sleeping right here. ;)

Yami said...

I read your blog because of your personality. I have a 9 month old and now that you have Ash I check your blog even more often......please don't stop!

Sara said...

Looks like I'm not alone in saying I'll still be checking in. I love your DIY posts, and I love your mommy posts. That's life! You're personality shines through no matter what and that's what keeps people coming back for more. Love your honesty :)

{Hi Sugarplum!} said...

Your desire will come back...I promise. you're just in a different phase with different priorities right now. Baby takes up all your energy and brains space. And that's okay. I'll come over and read anything you post, anytime you post. So take a deep breath, cut yourself some slack, and enjoy this time. It's fleeting...I swear!

Lyd said...

Sara- I have been following your blog for 3 years now since my husband and I bought our house 3 years ago... I had my daughter -(our first) in December and I really believed I would never get back to working on the house for a really long time. Now our daughter is 9 months and we finally finished a kitchen renovation just last week! Things get so much easier in these next few months and your life with your son will only become more fun! Congrats to you on this new chapter in your life- the best is yet to come

Katy @ Eat Drink & Decorate said...

Don't feel defeated!! This is YOUR blog - blog about your life! And those that want to follow will and those that don't will move on. Nuttin' wrong with either of those options.

We evolve and so must our blog - or you'd be doing it for the wrong reasons! Your life is blessed - share it!! No matter what the content!! ;-)

Head up sweet lady!!

Anonymous said...

Yes - please, please, please blog more about the little one! I'm pregnant with our first, and I feel like I can't read enough on the subject. I'm completely clueless, and I don't know anything about anything. Any info that you share is super helpful :)

Justine @ you're so martha said...

Good for you! I'm in the same boat - I have a 2 month old, and have found it hard to continue with my blog. Apart from maybe 2 posts, the rest since I had my son (and we're talking maybe another 3 or 4) are basically photos of my son. That's my only priority now. And I figure, it's my blog, and who doesn't like a cute baby? If they don't, they don't have to read :) I will be reading yours, especially since we're in the same life stage!

Mrs. Jones' Soapbox said...

Not defeat at all! It's your blog. Write about what you want. People read bc they like your personality and your writing. It doesn't matter what it's about. And as far as the frequency, I don't get to read my blogs every day. It's more like every two weeks. When I log in and see a blog that has 75 posts since I last read, usually I read none of them bc it seems like too much work. But the ones that only have a few posts, I read. Your readers are just as busy as you are. Never apologize for not writing more. Do what you can and be proud of it. And enjoy your baby. You'll have a child for life but a baby for only one year. Cherish it!

Brooke said...

Girl... My baby is almost 12 weeks old and I couldn't run a blog if I tried. (I kee p starting and stoping ... I'm so lazy!). I like your blog so much and understand that it will evolve. You will remain bookmarked :). Hugs!!!

Liz @ It's Great To Be Home said...

I am SO with you!! It's such a hard transition. I can't imagine wishing you had spent more time on your blog/house and less time with your baby, though, so you're making the right call. And we'll still be here!

Keeley said...

Sara, I love your blog (and reading about your beautiful home) and I feel your pain because I'm pumping milk for my 6 week-old son as I type this. Becoming a parent has completely changed my life. I have a food blog (ha ha, yes, I love to cook) and I'm having trouble posting once every two weeks. It's a lot of work to photograph everything, write it up, find 30 minutes to format a great post... I feel your pain.

Everyone tells me it gets easier. I love reading your mommy stories, so feel free to share. I'm debating whether I should write a few mommy posts on my blog because that seems to be all that's happening these days.

Sixty-Fifth Avenue said...

your love of diy house stuff will be back...its not really gone. I remember three months after having our baby I wanted to change some things around on top of a dresser. I remember thinking I'm back!

LifeBegins@Thirty said...

Im sorry I didnt' reply sooner - just read this now. I will read whatever you write - baby, house, work whatever.

But if you start posting recipes, I'm out :-)

I'm in the same boat lady - things will change and always remember that this is YOUR blog. You give it its identity, not the other way around.

xoxo

Lisa @ Trapped In North Jersey said...

Sara! You just had a huge life transition--it takes a while to adjust. I know how you feel; my blog has gone from a six-day-a-week posting to crickets chirping over the last six months as I have been very grumpy. It will come back eventually.

I come back to read about your life, not just your house, and your baby is a part of your life. So write about whatever you please, whenever you please :-) You've got a number of us who love to read whatever it is you write.

Hang in there, it gets easier, and there will come a time again when you have more time and interest for DIY again. Till then write about whatever you want.

Kasey at Thrifty Little Blog said...

Just do what you want! If anything, just take time off until something inspires you. Google Reader was invented for a reason!

If you're looking for content- I would love to see a series of your recommendations for readers. You have a lot of experience updating rooms; why not offer suggestions for what to prioritize, what to diy, and where to allocate budget for reader room redos?

Joi said...

Oh, girl! I wish we lived closer. We could reminisce about our DIYing and decorating heydays while trying to entertain our high maintenance kiddos. I'm hoping inspiration will come back to me, too. For now though, I just hope Theron wakes up happy and stays happy throughout most of the day. Today is not one of those days. Here's hoping my tomorrow {and yours, too!} is better.

Freckles Chick said...

I love you for bravely posting this, sexypants.

I will never forget the day I left Q w/ Mr. FC (she was 3 mo) & ran to Lowe's for some "me" time. I remembered how we used to go there as a hobby & how happy it used to make me. On this particular occasion, Mr. FC calls me 5 min after I get there to tell me Q had thrown up all the boobie milk I fed her & was screaming her head off b/c she was probs starving again. And she hadn't napped all day. I sat in the parking lot & just cried. My nipples hurt, I hadn't slept, & I just wanted to look at spraypaint.

I have been there & there are still days like that but believe me when I say that it does get so.much.better. I didn't believe it when people told me....I'd just smile & nod (after I punched them in the face). But I can honestly say I now feel less like Q's maid & more like her mama.

I love you, my friend. You are doing a mighty-fine job even if it you don't see it. WE can all see it. That Ashford of yours melts my heart, chins & all. xoxo

Amanda- Hip House Girl said...

I'm a little late in the game here but thought I'd throw in my 2 cents worth of support. You're funny and creative, which is the main reason I've always come here. So whether you're talking about house projects or "mommy blog" things, I'm here to stay. I can also relate because since moving to Australia into an apartment, I haven't had much "house stuff" to post about either, and I haven't wanted to bore everyone with my travel-y stuff. But you know what? I totally should bore everyone with it, because it's awesome! I hope your time back at work is going okay. Love from the southern hemisphere!

kristi.w. said...

Dude, I can relate! I don't even have a baby, but I have been experiencing a similar blog identity crisis the past few months. Our blog started as a way to document house renovation projects. But now I just don't want to work on the house any more. I still want to keep blogging, but sometimes I feel guilty that it doesn't have to do with the blog's original purpose. But that's ok, right? As you said, people change, and it makes sense that blogs change too. I still like reading yours and welcome whatever you feel like sharing, for what it's worth. :)